Hello again and how are you doing?
 
I've recently been feeling that the Earth is awakening big time, coming alive again.
 
Can you feel it too?
 
Recently the Spring Equinox arrived on our doorstep bringing in lots of light energy. The equinox means that the length of each day and night is near enough equal, and much-needed balance begins to seep into our lives.
 
I’m taking time out this week to feel into which of my winter dream seeds I want to plant in the ground and nourish in the next few months, in order to harvest and celebrate their creation in the Autumn.
 
I have so many dreams in my head that I want to come true; so many seeds to choose from, and I know if I let it, my head could begin to make this process messy and complicated.
 
Thankfully my heart is taking the lead and telling me to approach the task in hand in a child-like way and just have fun! Kids just get in there don’t they...no fear.
 
So I’ve decided to get inspiration and clarity this week by going out to play with some friends, skip in the woods, pinch some daffodils, paint by numbers and get my hands dirty whilst I plant sunflower seeds - amongst others!!
 
Sometimes, to make our dreams come true we just need to connect to our child within; that spring-like, playful, curious little spirit.
 
I’m off to find a dandelion to make wishes on...do you want to come?
 
Much love till next time
 
Maureen xx

​Hello my dear friends
 
I hope this little note finds you safe and well.
 
When I last wrote I invited you to join me in immersing yourself in the energy of the ‘Moomins’ to ease gently into 2021 and not become caught up in the 'shoulds' of a new year.
 
As we enter February I am continuing to live and work at a slower pace and allowing ideas and plans to emerge naturally alongside the seasons. Winter is still with us but I can feel a shift. The days are slowly but surely lengthening and it feels like the life force of the earth beneath my feet is awakening. Can you feel it too?
 
Last February I wrote a blog about “Embracing our Seasons” (Click here to read the full article - https://www.ichooseme.org.uk/blog/embracing-our-seasons ) and during my reflections over the last few weeks I was drawn to read this again - given it was written just before the world was literally “locked down” due to the pandemic.
 
I smiled when I read this line…
 
“I am no longer limited by the expectations of others or society and therefore feel much more in control of my own destiny…”
 
Initially I thought “well that was a lot of pants! Covid-19 put paid to that.” But as I read further I was reminded of the seeds of intention I planted last year …
 
” In the weeks, months, and years to come, it is my intention to step through the gateway of my brand-new life and create a beautiful wild garden. I know this will involve much personal growth and transformation.
 
I fervently hope that my journey will not only transform me but also my community.
 
Who knows if we all choose to nourish and nurture ourselves with lots of love and self-care, we may even be able to transform the world ...... “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and all that!”
 
Covid-19 hadn’t put paid to my intentions last year and I am reminded that it takes time for “mighty oaks to grow”!!
 
Last February I merely began the next stage of my life journey:

• I began to create a wild garden outside my home.
• I researched a lot about what living and working with the seasons would look and feel like and embarked upon a course with the amazing people from ‘Folk and Field’ who also created the visual shown in this blog.
• I chose to nourish and nurture myself big time and just flowed with what each day brought, whether it was good or bad.

 
I can see now that my wild garden continued to grow in the spaces in between each season of my life last year, even though I might not have been aware of it at the time.
 
Now at the ripe old age of 54 I may be limited in some ways by the pandemic but I am not limitless, and as Wayne Dyer once said…
 
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside”.
 
There is much growth still to emerge and grow deep within me, in those spaces in between; many possibilities exist, none of which have yet been chosen.
 
My childbearing years and the vast majority of my ‘working’ years may be over, but this doesn’t mean that I no longer have a role to play in society. I was fortunate enough to hold space in my womb for a new human life to emerge and grow. However, there is space now for new growth, new creations.
 
I am not sure yet what that new growth will be but I trust I will be guided on which choices to make in those spaces in between. I hope too, as I mentioned last February, that this growth will help not only myself to continue to flourish, but also my community.
 
This month I feel I am being guided by the energy of the Celtic Festival of Imbolc which takes place on February the 1st and is associated with the pagan fire Goddess Brigit (also known as Brighid, Bride and Saint Bridget in Christian religions).
 
For me, Brigit’s energy symbolises the transformation from Winter (Crone energy) to Spring (Maiden energy) and the insatiable appetite for new beginnings and rebirth. It didn’t surprise me to read also that the word ‘Imbolc’ means “in the belly” in the old Irish Neolithic language, and that the seed of my own earth child Ryan was planted in my “belly” during the month of February 1998!
 
And so, my friend I send you Imbolc love and blessings this February and in all the spaces in between.
 
Maureen xx

Hello my dear friends.
 
I love stories... 
 
And I hope one day to write a story of my very own.
 
Recently I came across this little video which is the introduction to the book “Moominland Midwinter” by Tove Jansson: https://youtu.be/7HCceZMp4wI
 
The actual book tells the story of ‘Moomintroll’ who woke up early from the hibernation period that he and his family embark on each year throughout the harsh winter.
 
Moomintroll can’t get back to sleep, so he decides to stay awake for the remainder of the winter season.
 
He becomes increasingly more and more angry at the sun’s absence, at the winter snowstorms - and at those who seem able to enjoy rather than resent the season of mid-winter.
 
This story - as most fairy stories do - holds vast amounts of learning!!
 
This story for me, especially during another lockdown deep in midwinter, reminds me of the lessons that can be learned if we choose:

• Learning to live with uncertainty
• How we sometimes have to get lost before we can truly find ourselves
• Surrendering to the rhythms of life rather than resisting them.

 And so my dear friend I invite you to let the energy of ‘Moomin’ into your life today! 
 
Let’s surrender to the rhythm of midwinter and move ever so slowly out of hibernation (the pandemic is certainly helping us with this!!!)
 
Here are some of the things I’ve been doing recently, moving gently into my day:

• Rising before the rest of the household.
• Lighting a candle for a time before switching on the lights.
• Having a bath or shower in candlelight. You don’t just have to do this at night!
• Listening to soothing music as I work.
• Nourishing myself throughout the day with hot drinks, soups and stews.​

 Working at a slower pace, allowing ideas and plans to take root at their own pace - as who knows what 2021 will look like moving forward.
 
Taking naps if I need to. If I’m working I might take a nap instead of a walk after I’ve eaten. I trust my flow.
 
I don’t allow myself to get caught up in the ‘shoulds’ of new year resolutions.
 
In essence, I’m still resting and nourishing myself just as Mother Nature is all around me.
 
Remember spring is just around the corner.
 
Until then my friend, keep cozy, keep snuggling in.
 
Sending all my love and warm midwinter light...
 
Maureen xx

Hello!
 
Just popping out of my hibernation cave on this shortest day of the year to wish you a Happy Winter Solstice and to send you all my love and light for the Festive Season.
 
It’s been a difficult year that has often left us in dark places. However, a new solar cycle begins today with the arrival of the Winter Solstice.

​After experiencing the longest night and darkest day, we are about to journey towards the Summer Solstice when the nights will grow shorter and the days become brighter.
 
Meantime, the energy of HOPE wraps her arms around us reminding us that, for now, we need the darkness of Winter to rest and renew so that we can grow once more in the Spring when I’m sure a brand-new life awaits us all.
 
So for now it’s time to slow down, snuggle up and enjoy a cup of something soothing and warm, knowing that those brighter days lie ahead.
 
Abundant blessings to you in the coming year my friend.
 
Maureen xx

Samhain for many people including me, is a celebration more like New Year. It is a time when it feels although the veils between the earthly and spiritual worlds become closer and we remember and honour our ancestors.

The Gaelic meaning of Samhain is “summer’s end”. The end of the natural circle of life and the beginning of a new year.

This festival always reminds me that it is time to STOP - and believe you me that doesn’t always come easy. It’s a lesson I am having to learn over and over again!!

And so this Samhain, a bit like making a New Year’s Resolution, I am really going to strive to release the need to DO over the winter months and, like those autumn leaves, let go and just BE.

As COVID rages all around me I will - by the looks of it - be forced more than ever to stop and spend more time indoors than I have for a long time.

It is my intention, during this dark phase, to truly take time to rest, renew and reflect upon the roads I have already travelled and look toward the roads that I can choose to travel when the light returns once more.

As I enter my hibernation cave you may not hear much from me over the Winter months. So, until we connect again, always remember there are many beautiful gifts waiting to be discovered if we are simply willing to stop and take a deep dive into the darkness.

On this ancient Celtic festival my friend - on the dawn of a New Year - I invite you to become courageously curious and embark upon a path to your own inner world by asking yourself the following questions:

• What in your life needs to be prioritized?
• What area of your life needs to see more of the light?
• What is worth STOPPING for?

Much love always

Maureen xx

Hello everyone

I write to you today from my hibernation cave - aka my beloved bedroom sanctuary - and I am wrapped in the arms of stillness, silence and solitude reflecting upon what I have harvested in the last 12 months.

As I reflected, the picture below caught my eye. It was a gift from my late Father when I was around 10 years old. I can remember, at the time, briefly glancing at it not realising that some forty years later it would become one of my most precious possessions.

Within the red frame is the poem “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann and it is said that he was inspired to write this after journaling about “desire”, (Desiderata means desire in Latin and translates to ‘desired things’).
The following words brought tears to my eyes…
​
“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

In that moment I realised that in the last 12 months my own desire was to “harvest happiness”; to truly CHOOSE ME, to meet my own needs, to discover what was best for me and do everything in my power to make that desire come true.

I met that desire by immersing myself in Mother Nature, trying wherever possible to live and work in alignment with her seasons, trusting that she would keep me grounded and balanced even amidst the darkness of COVID-19 which made me at times very much doubt that the “universe was unfolding as it should.”

Today Mother Nature once again brings me back to balance by inviting me to reflect upon The Autumn Equinox which entered the UK energy field on Tuesday the 22nd September. The word “equinox” is of Latin origin and means “equal night”, the time of the year when day and night are of equal length.

The Autumn Equinox reminds me to balance all aspects of my life. To honour both the day and the night, the light and the dark, the good and the bad, happiness and sadness, the ups and the downs, the rollercoaster that is this wonderful life.

One of the ways I bring balance to my life is to simply “check in” with myself as the day begins and “check out” again as it ends. I call these my “bookends”. 

Here I feel into my seasons and honour what messages they are giving me. So, for example, if my energy is very low during my morning check in, I might have to retreat, rest, and renew in my Winter season and hibernate as much as I can throughout the day. If my energy is steeped in Spring and Summer, those are the days I can create or act on my “to-do” list. I often find myself in Autumn at the end of my day, reflecting upon what I have managed to harvest that day.

As well as reminding us to bring balance to our lives the Autumn Equinox invites us to go within and let go of old ideas, limited beliefs, habits, and actions that no longer serve us. Just as the leaves in Autumn release their grip and fall to the ground creating compost for new life to grow we too can do the same, creating fertile soil in which to plant our dream seeds for the following year.
​
Autumn is the time to acknowledge and honour our own seasons of growth, harvest, death, and rebirth.

And so my friend, as the days become shorter and the nights grow longer and the lingering threat of COVID-19 surrounds us, it may feel as if you are descending into darkness and for many that can feel quite uncomfortable. I encourage you however to embrace the darkness and listen to its messages.
​
Use the forthcoming seasons of Autumn and Winter to snuggle in, be gentle with yourself and acknowledge and reflect upon your own seasons and life cycle. 

Are there any areas of your life in which you can create new growth in order to harvest more happiness in 2021? Remember too that the Light will shine upon us once more with the arrival of the Winter Solstice in December and as the final sentence of the Desiderata poem says…

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy”.

Sending you love, light and happiness this Autumn

Maureen x

P.S. Click HERE to listen to a beautiful guided meditation by Kez Kristiansen which can help heal anxiety and disconnect through Nature. 

You can also connect with me on a deeper level or read the blogs which describe my journey with Mother Nature in the last year at www.ichooseme.org.uk

Hello

How are you doing? How are you feeling?
 
When we last connected, we were celebrating the energy of the Summer Solstice, endings, and new beginnings. (Click HERE if you missed our last blog).
 
I also wrote that I intended to use the energy of Summer to invite new energy into my life by reflecting upon the following questions:
 
-          What does my life look like now that it is reduced to ashes?
-          What rich new life can take root now? 
-          What can I create? 
-          What transformation will come as this phoenix rises from the ashes?
 
As I began to reflect, I could feel FEAR rising within me. I froze.
 
The questions were asking too much of me. They felt like they were going to lead to change, too much change. I usually embrace change, but this was overwhelming … exhausting.
 
WHAT WAS I SCARED OF?  I HAD NO IDEA!
 
My mind was pleading, “please, no more change, enough is enough”, my heart was saying “hush, just take a breath, we’ll work it out, but for now just breathe”.
 
I took a breath, and another and another. I listened to my heart. I listened to it in silence and solitude trusting that it would lead the way.
 
My heart first of all guided me to rest – I rested.
 
It then guided me to meditate in silence and with intention on the following questions:
 
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING AWAY FROM?
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING BACK TO?
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING TOWARDS?
 
No answers came and I could feel the fear creeping in once more trying to invade my whole body.
 
My heart hushed me once more and guided me to surrender into its arms wholly and completely
– I surrendered.
 
My heart then asked me to listen again – I listened.
 
I heard a little voice deep within me saying…
 
 “My darling you, in the last year you have discovered freedom; freedom to live in seasons, to write stories, to embrace your introverted self, to live in silence and solitude, to potter, to BE more than DO, to meet your own needs, to CHOOSE YOU.
 
You are fearful now of inviting more change into your life in case it imprisons you again through over- doing, over-pleasing, over-working, and falling back into the dis-ease of co-dependency. Can you answer the questions of your heart now little one?
 
I could:

• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING AWAY FROM MY FREEDOM
• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING BACK TO BEING IMPRISONED BY MY ADDICTION TO CODEPENDENCY.
• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING TOWARDS MORE CHANGE THAT COULD TAKE AWAY MY NEW-FOUND FREEDOM.

 
In essence, I was in fear of losing all I had harvested so far in the last year.
 
I was terrified of once again not having my needs met and forgetting to choose me, forgetting to nourish and nurture the seeds I had planted earlier in the year, the SEEDS OF MY OWN NEEDS.
 
Once again, I could hear the words of Abraham Maslow who, funnily enough, created the Hierarchy of Human Needs…
 
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

In that moment of sweet release my fear left me, my heart cracked wide open and I cried tears of sweet relief. 

And so today on the 1st of August I find myself celebrating once more. I am not only celebrating the festival of Lammas, which marks the annual wheat harvest and is the first harvest festival of the year, I am celebrating and embracing all the CHANGE and transformation I have accomplished so far in the last year and all the hard work that has gone into creating this change. 
 
I am also acknowledging that harvesting a bountiful crop is hard work and takes up a lot of energy. And so as we reach this mid-point of summer, I am reminded to rest and refuel my energy tank as much as I can in the months ahead, which no doubt will involve even more change as I take the tentative steps out of lockdown and step out into a world which has changed dramatically in such a short period of time.
 
I can see now too that the FEAR I felt previously was a messenger.
 
It was reminding me that personal growth, just like growing a garden is hard work and involves a lot of perseverance. Personal growth also involves lots of change and to hide away from change is like giving up on our beautiful gardens in the middle of summer and letting them wither away just as they are about to burst into bloom and brightness.
 
My fear taught me to finish what I started, to accomplish all that I have worked for so far. To allow myself to be transformed into a beautiful wild garden, to grow and flourish in the seasons and harvest a year where I met my own needs first and CHOSE ME.
 
And so my friend as we enter into the last few weeks of Summer, I invite you to feel into what you would like to harvest in the next few months as we ease out of lockdown and into a new way of being.

• Do you have any fears that are preventing you from reaping that harvest?
• If so, using the remaining energy of Summer, what action could you take to stop that from happening?

 
I invite you also to be gentle with yourself, and take time to acknowledge how hard it’s been for you over the last few months when the pandemic forced change into your lives some of which may not have been wanted.
 
Give yourself credit for the way in which you handled this change, take a breath, listen, and maybe you can see too just how much your own garden has grown and evolved.
 
I am off now to tend to my own wild garden, ensuring I’ve done all I can to reap a bountiful harvest in Autumn and I’ll be in touch then to celebrate with you some more.
 
Sending all my love on this sacred day,
 
Maureen xx

Hi there

A few weeks ago, I posted a little love note to you about how I crave SOLITUDE and how it is my intention moving forward to follow Mother Nature’s lead and begin to live my life slowly and simply.
This weekend with the arrival of the Summer Solstice, a New Moon and a Solar Eclipse, it feels like the perfect time to celebrate this new energy!

The arrival of Summer and the longest day of the year energizes, refreshes and renews my spirit and I feel alive. When the sun does shine, it blazes strong and bright and everything feels on fire, ignited and celebratory!

Even the introvert within me wants to celebrate!

• I want to light my fire!!
• Not on the dance floor I might add!
• I want to celebrate my own inner fire. 
• I want to acknowledge and celebrate everything I have accomplished in the last year.

I want to celebrate the strong woman who was willing to take risks, who stepped into her vulnerability and let go of what was no longer serving her. The woman who embraced her introverted self, who created strong boundaries, who nourished and nurtured herself.

I want to celebrate choosing me!

How am I going to celebrate? 

I’m going to light a fire at precisely 10:43pm on Saturday in my back garden!

If it rains - and with me living in Scotland there’s a good chance that it will - I’ll light a candle and reflect in silence, giving gratitude to all those things my inner fire helped me accomplish this year. 
Note, there may also be some marshmallows and red wine on the go too.

Actually, there’s no might’s about it – this is a celebration after all!

I will also let go of all the things I didn’t get done.  These thoughts will be reduced to ashes. I worked hard, I survived a pandemic, I did my best and that was enough.

I will also acknowledge that with every new beginning there has to be an end – just like the seasons.
The days following on from the Summer Solstice will start growing shorter again as the northern hemisphere begins to tilt away once more from the sun. 

This, alongside the possibility of rain dampening my celebration on Saturday, could make me feel sad. However, I will remember that the sun will be reborn again at the Winter Solstice and the cycle of growth and renewal will begin all over again.

And so, it is only right that I celebrate these endings too! 

As I acknowledge and celebrate the year that has gone by, I can also give thanks for the growth it brought me and I can let it go now into the burning flames – its purpose complete.

If I wish, I can reflect deeper to see if there are any other aspects of my life that are no longer serving me that need to succumb to the flames also.

As the evening ends and all that is left are the embers of my fire, I will use the energy of Summer to invite new energy into my life. 

• What does my life look like now that it is reduced to ashes?
• What rich new life can take root now? 
• What can I create? 
• What transformation will come as this phoenix rises from the ashes?

My friend I invite you to join me in this celebration. 
Don’t worry, I don’t mean literally in my back garden – after all some of us are still in lockdown!!
I invite you to celebrate with me from the fire in your own heart – to connect together this Summer Solstice as a global community in whatever way you choose.

You too may wish to reflect on the last year and on the year to come …… just think it will be like New Year all over again but slightly warmer!

This Summer Solstice let us join together and use the flames of summer to burn away our divisions, disconnects and differences and celebrate endings, new beginnings, oneness, community, and love.
I hope you can join me. If not, I hope you will feel my love and radiant light on Saturday night!

Maureen xx

Hello again

I hope this little love note from my heart to yours finds you safe and well.

Back in February this year I wrote about “embracing our seasons” (to view, please click HERE) – well, what a season the end of Winter and Spring turned out to be!!

Instead of growth and new beginnings, it felt like we were being forced back into that hibernation cave as we were engulfed in the darkness of a worldwide pandemic.

Many of us felt uncertainty, panic, fear and anxiety and initially I too felt these emotions. However, as the world began to quieten and I watched the trees turn to green, the skies and the rivers becoming clearer and the birdsong becoming louder, I became calmer as I witnessed Mother Nature holding us safe and grounded in her arms and embracing us in the energy of hope.

Instead of rushing about trying “to do” to fill the time, I chose “to be” and began to mirror the energy of this nature, to be gentle with myself, to weather the storms, and overall beginning to live slowly and simply, trusting I would be guided.
​
The arrival of Spring and the sensational rays from the sunny skies above energised me even more and - despite all the uncertainty surrounding me - I used the extended lockdown to enter a deeper period of reflection and I came to realise just how much of an introvert I am.
I came to realise I crave SOLITUDE.

For years I had tried to fit in to a world which is designed mostly for extroverts – our schools, workplaces and social institutions have been created to stimulate. Extroverts crave stimulation.

Too much stimulation can exhaust introverts and if not kept in check can lead to burn out, anxiety and depression.

If it wasn’t for the pandemic I doubt I would have realised just how much I need solitude. It’s like oxygen for me and as Susan Cain the author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” says…

“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe”.

In this book she explains why we need to also appreciate the talents and abilities of introverts. After all, where would we be without the likes of Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, J K Rowling, and Mark Zuckerberg who founded Facebook!

This reflection then guided me to a deeper realisation. The introvert in me played a big part in why I changed my business name to I CHOOSE ME.

For most of my life I was living in what I now call my Great Forgetting – forgetting that I was an introvert.

This caused much dis-ease in my life and led to me becoming an addict. My addiction of choice is co-dependency which in essence means I believed that my own needs should be sacrificed for those of others, regardless of the consequences to my own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

My recovery path means that I have had to learn how to CHOOSE me – to connect to myself, to meet my own basic human needs, to create safe and strong boundaries for myself, to nourish and nurture myself – in essence to take time out to remember who I truly am – an introverted soul who, like Mother Nature, needs solitude, silence and simplicity to survive.

Little did I know back in February that the Universe in the shape of Mother Nature was guiding me to this realisation. I didn’t have to create that beautiful wild garden, it was being created for me. The only thing I had to do was slow down and let nature take its course with my life.

I have no idea where she is going to take me next but it’s my intention to surrender into her arms even more, to follow her lead and live slowly and simply to the beat of her drum and the rhythm of her seasons.

As Claude Monet says: “it is my wish to stay always like this, living quietly in a corner of nature”.
Until next time my friend it is my greatest wish that you too follow your heart’s desire.

Much love

Maureen xx

As my good friend George always says...”here’s a thing”...

Have you ever noticed that life gives us lots and lots of chances to learn about choices?

One minute we feel stuck and the next minute we’re on a rollercoaster ride which we’ll either experience as being exhilarating or way out of control.

When life feels stuck we might long to make changes and perhaps try out that rollercoaster ride but equally sometimes when life feels out of control we long for the security that comes from staying on solid ground.

If we can become more aware of our gift of choice we can begin to accept that there will always be things that happen to us that we would never choose in a million years, however, there are things in our life that we can choose to make happen or not.

I’ve experienced both in the last 53 years and I’ve come to realise that it’s very important to be aware of the difference between the two. The more I accepted and practiced the second option the happier I became.

In the picture below I’m on a rollercoaster ride with my husband and son when he was a wee boy. I look happy but OMG I was not!! I was absolutely hating every minute - wrong choice!! Since then I’ve chosen to keep my feet firmly on the ground! 

So if, like me, you hate rollercoasters guess what  you can choose instead??

Sending love and light till next time,

Maureen xx