As my good friend George always says...”here’s a thing”...

Have you ever noticed that life gives us lots and lots of chances to learn about choices?

One minute we feel stuck and the next minute we’re on a rollercoaster ride which we’ll either experience as being exhilarating or way out of control.

When life feels stuck we might long to make changes and perhaps try out that rollercoaster ride but equally sometimes when life feels out of control we long for the security that comes from staying on solid ground.

If we can become more aware of our gift of choice we can begin to accept that there will always be things that happen to us that we would never choose in a million years, however, there are things in our life that we can choose to make happen or not.

I’ve experienced both in the last 53 years and I’ve come to realise that it’s very important to be aware of the difference between the two. The more I accepted and practiced the second option the happier I became.

In the picture below I’m on a rollercoaster ride with my husband and son when he was a wee boy. I look happy but OMG I was not!! I was absolutely hating every minute - wrong choice!! Since then I’ve chosen to keep my feet firmly on the ground! 

So if, like me, you hate rollercoasters guess what  you can choose instead??

Sending love and light till next time,

Maureen xx

​Hello my dear friends
 
How has your winter been?
 
If you’ve been following my blogs you’ll know that I had asked Santa for the gifts of pottering and hibernation for Christmas and I was pretty chuffed to have found both of these in my Christmas stocking! 
 
If I’m being totally honest with you though, I think they were kind of forced upon me as a necessity rather than a gift. Let me tell you why (pour yourself a cuppa first – this is going to be a long one!).
 
If truth be told, I had a pretty rough Autumn and entry into the Winter season.
 
I was working with a lot of beautiful young energies during this time who were undergoing significant amounts of stress trying to fit in to a world which, as you know, can be pretty harsh at times.
 
I now realise that I hadn’t been protecting my boundaries enough whilst working in the environments that these beautiful souls were enclosed in and I was losing my balance.
 
On top of this, I chose to leave part-time employment where I had been a team leader for nearly 36 years.
 
My choice - but oh my it was a difficult one as this employer had been one of my security nets in that it provided financial abundance to help me set up my own business and to care for my husband when he was severely ill.
 
This was also the place where I met my husband and many lifelong friends and I underestimated the effect this would have on my energy levels.
 
By the time I reached mid-December, I was exhausted and was literally forced into my hibernation cave.
 
This enforced healing involved much rest emotionally, physically and spiritually and I began a process of recovery and renewal.
 
My body began naturally to repair the damage that had been caused previously.
 
Initially I felt a reluctance to enter the hibernation cave as it reminded me - once again - of having to take the journey of the butterfly, which isn’t an easy one.
 
This caterpillar was having to break down again in that dark cocoon. I entered a period of mourning as I began to discard a life that once was.

However, this time round I didn’t fight the darkness. I let go and surrendered to its wisdom and I began to dream.
 
I dreamt I was:

• “in-between” lands  
• “in-between” gates
• “in-between” lives 
• “in-between” relationships
• ”in-between” people.

 When I awoke from my dreams I journaled and increasingly became aware that I too was at the “in-between” stage of my own life.
 
I was 53.
 
My body was changing, my thoughts were changing, my libido was changing, my energy was changing.
 
My relationships were also changing - I no longer had to lead a team now, I no longer had to nurture my 21-year-old son who was flourishing in his life nor did I need to care for my husband, whose health had improved dramatically.
 
My life was changing in every way and oh - I had also entered the menopause.
 
And then it hit me – I was a menopausal woman!!
 
My menstruation had paused and so had my life.
 
I was at a “crossroads”, a “change of life”, an “in-between zone”.
 
I was neither who I was before nor who I was becoming.
 
Who was I?
 
More journaling ensued.
 
I realized that I’d had experienced a relatively easy journey through the menopause as far as my mind and body were concerned. But now sensed that there was a deep and profound transformation taking place within me as if I was holding space for something new to emerge...just like that butterfly.
 
I was indeed at a crossroads! 
 
I could, therefore, choose to embrace this new sense of self that was struggling to emerge
 
OR
 
Cling to the old me who was comfortable in her cocoon, in her hibernation cave.
 
I could retire now and live happily ever after in my comfort zone. My job was done. I had successfully brought up my son, cared for my family, had a career and ran my own business.
 
I knew that if I chose the path of change and began to travel in the direction of unknown worlds that I would no longer be the same person that I was before. 
 
Did I really want to transform into another person at the age of 53??
 
As I pondered on my choices this quote was sent my way, I just love a quote! 
 
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
 
Abraham H. Maslow
 
My heart leapt when I read this and, at that moment, I crossed the threshold into a brand-new land! 
 
After much soul searching throughout winter in my hibernation cave I now find myself in a new relationship with myself; with others; my commitments; my work; my energy; my values; my priorities; my boundaries; my self-care; my choices and a deepening need to CHOOSE ME.
 
I am no longer limited by the expectations of others or society and therefore feel much more in control of my own destiny.
 
I am a woman in mid-life and a being of choice!
 
This awareness of choice gifts within me the freedom and serenity that Sue Patton Thoele describes in her book “Freedoms After Fifty” ...
 
 “When I was a young woman, I thought ageing meant loss and limitation, but I’ve learned that it’s really about freedom - especially freedom from fear. But also, free to be uniquely myself, free to say what I mean and mean what I say, free to genuinely enjoy and celebrate life”. 
 
In the weeks, months and years to come, it is my intention to step through the gateway to my brand-new life and create a beautiful wild garden.
 
I know this will involve much personal growth and transformation.
 
I fervently hope that my journey will not only transform me but also my community.
 
Who knows if we all choose to nourish and nurture ourselves with lots of love and self-care we may even be able to transform the world ...... “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and all that! 

And so my friend, in the remaining weeks of winter I will be continuing to nurture my new landscape. After all, personal growth - just like a wild garden - requires a lot of quiet time and solitude to ensure it has plenty of nutrients in order for those “dream seeds” to be planted successfully in spring.
 
I’ll also be pruning and decluttering my thoughts, emotions, home etc. so that I can have clear spaces in which to begin visioning what my brand-new wild garden landscape will look like as the year unfolds.
 
I’ll keep you posted on how my wild garden is thriving, and feel free to accompany me on my journey this year as it evolves throughout the seasons.
 
You might even want to begin to create your own garden or give me some gardening hints and tips!
 
Speak soon and much love till then
 
Maureen xx

Hey

How’s your Autumn going?
 
Did you choose you since we last connected and take some time out to reflect upon how balanced you feel as we enter in to this magical Autumn season?
 
If not, I’ve posted below my own musings on how balanced I feel so far in 2019 which might support you with your own reflections:

• I have flourished in that I now truly feel I am worthy, enough, safe and secure.
• I have accomplished financial security mainly because I feel all of the above!
• The seeds I planted last year that bore the most fruit were the introduction of strong personal boundaries, my Daily Sadhana Practice (aka My Bookends).
• Because of the seeds I planted above, I harvested the fruits of a blooming heart-centred business which brought joy and abundance to not just my own life but to the lives of many other people.
• I am proud of how I have continued to CHOOSE ME.
• I feel grateful for the continued good health of my husband after his dances in recent years with a brain tumour.
• I feel really well balanced in my CHOICES.
• I feel out of balance in my physical body.
• I am aware that the imbalance I feel in my physical body has occurred because it is starting to give me signs that it is not happy. It has asked for its needs to be met by telling me it’s not at ease. An example of this is the plantar fasciitis (dis-ease) I have been suffering from this year. My body needs more grounding and some TLC!!
• The seeds that I planted last year that didn’t quite grow as I expected all relate to my own body.
• Given the reflections above I need to do more weeding and pruning in relation to my physical health to bring my mind, body and Soul back into alignment in 2020.

 
The above reflections have made me feel good!
 
I am pretty well balanced overall as I near the end of 2019 but my friend - believe me - it wasn’t always this way.
 
Just like the leaves falling from their branches in Autumn, we come to witness the balance between life and death in Mother Nature.
 
Everything is literally dying all around us and it can feel dark and yucky - but this passing is necessary for new life to grow in the spring. This is true for our own selves as well.
 
In order for us to live the most beautiful life we came here to experience, we need to let go of our dead leaves, our old beliefs, patterns and habits that no longer serve us.
 
And so, my dearest, darling you I invite you for the remainder of October to feel in to the energy of letting go:

• What are you ready to let go of?
• What leaves do you need to shed in order for new life to grow?
• What weeding/de-cluttering still needs to happen in your life? 

In November we will take the wisdom we gained from our beautiful Autumn reflections along with the internal ground we cleared through the process of letting go and begin to take the necessary steps to NOURISH and NURTURE our Soul Soil.
 
By doing this and allowing ourselves to go in to hibernation throughout the cold and darkness of Winter, we will ensure that we have fertile ground available to plant brand new seeds which will create beautiful new beginnings for us in 2020.
 
As the saying goes … “Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go” … Unknown.
 
My whole life changed for the better when I finally surrendered and chose to let go of energies that no longer served me and I know you can experience this too.
 
 Speak soon, big hugs till then
 
Maureen xx

Hello my dear friend

How have your “moments” been since we last connected?

• Did you immerse yourself in some I CHOOSE ME moments?
• Did you blow some bubbles?
• Did you allow your Soul to guide you to where you truly want to journey to next?

I did - and as I posted in our I CHOOSE ME Facebook page recently my Soul asked me to reflect upon this question…

“In every moment you have a choice, the question is what path will you choose?”

Over the summer I chose to reframe how I define “work” and the result was that my Soul guided me to rewrite one of my limited beliefs into a limitless one - I don’t “work” - I am instead being of “service” to this magnificent world and its inhabitants.

Interestingly, since I let go of all the busyness and abundance that the spring and summer months bestowed upon me and immersed myself in the “moment”, my Soul is now guiding me to explore even more pathways and I feel myself stepping into a new season in my life.

Talking of new seasons, this week the Autumn Equinox has arrived which officially marks the beginning of Fall in the Northern Hemisphere.

The word “equinox” comes from the Latin words “aequi” which means “equal”, and “nox” which means “night” and as such this Autumn Equinox means that the day and night are of equal length and balance.

This new season is a beautiful opportunity to examine balance in our own lives.

And so my beautiful you, as we step into a new season I invite you to reflect upon how balanced you feel.

Dig out your journal (or treat yourself to a new one), cosy up in your favourite spot with a cuppa in hand, play some soothing music and feel in to the following questions:

• How have you flourished in the last year?
• What have you accomplished?
• What seeds did you plant that bore the most fruit? 
• What have you harvested this year that has brought joy and abundance into your life?
• What are you proud of?
• What do you feel grateful for?
• In what areas of your life do you feel really well balanced?
• In what areas of your life do you feel out of balance?
• Are you aware why any imbalances have occurred?
• What seeds did you plant that didn’t quite grow as expected?
• Where do you need to do some weeding or pruning to get back into alignment?

The energy of this Autumn Equinox allows us to reflect upon the wild garden that has emerged as a result of our creations during the previous winter, spring and summer months and what is required to bring it into balance before we activate new growth in 2020.
 
As we move deeper into Autumn my wonderful friend, we will be jumping into a big pile of fallen leaves and the energy of “letting go” …can’t wait to see what we discover there!!
 
Until then be gentle with yourself and as Robert Louis Stevenson once said…
 
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant”.
 
Sending you love and golden autumnal light
 
Maureen xx

Hello my dear friend. How has your summer been so far?

The weather has been a bit all over the place hasn’t it? One moment we have had beautiful sun kissed skies and the next torrential rains and thunderstorms!

Mother Nature’s whirlwind energy in the last few weeks has led me to reflect upon my own life journey. At times I have been engulfed in earthquakes and tornadoes which often left destruction and chaos in its wake for both myself and others. I created a lot of this damage myself and I now lovingly refer to this energy as my “messy middle”.

At other times I have sailed along upon smooth tranquil waters with ease and flow.
My reflections have helped me realise that it was the storms that often led me to those tranquil waters, they were meant to be and they actually fuelled the fire of deep transformation and change within my Soul.

The self-awareness that arose from my reflections all came from reliving and retelling stories from my life – I captured all of them in “moments”. An example of this was the moments that filled my life last week.

On Wednesday I sat hand in hand with my courageous and lion-hearted husband in a hospital waiting room anxiously waiting for the results of his yearly brain scan. In the last 7 years he has undergone two major brain surgeries and survived both of these unyielding storms.

As we waited, we spoke of “moments”. We reflected upon some of the moments of our 29-year marriage. Moments that hit us both hard; when we nearly separated because of my own messy middle; his journey living with a brain tumour and losing his short term memory for a few months; our travels which have taken us all around the world; sitting in floods of tears on the bathroom floor in our first home when we found out we were finally pregnant after 9 years of waiting for our little miracle – our beloved son.

A few minutes later we were given the news by the wonderful surgeon who has been part of our life journey that all was well. Our hearts began to beat once more. We took a deep inhale and then exhaled into the rest of our moments.

The following day I became aware that it was the 8th of August (08/08), the Lions Gate Portal, a big event in the Cosmos when the Sun enters the constellation of Leo and we are gifted with a new gateway of energy if we choose to step in to it.

Just like the actual Lion’s Gate in Jerusalem this energy field is guarded by two Royal Sirian Lions who represent the “Lions of Yesterday and Tomorrow” in Sacred texts. This Lion energy took me once again to the “present moment” and an awareness of where my current life journey was going to next and as always, I turned to my tools of meditation and journaling in order to find the answers and the result is todays blog.

I am aware that it is only when I am grounded in the “present moment” that I am able to weather the storms around me. When I get caught up in thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow, I become lost in my messiness. I know this now. I have stepped through my own Lions Gate Portal in the last 7 years and I now live a truly authentic and conscious life.

There have been many people who have helped me on my healing journey – my husband, my son, my family and friends, my clients and a beautiful business mentor and spiritual midwife called Emily – but ultimately, I healed myself. I did this by CHOOSING ME.

To do this I had to stop running from the whirlwind of me and instead surrender and fall in to the safe sanctuary of my own arms. I had to surrender to my messiness and I had to listen to its wisdom.
Just like we often sit inside during thunderstorms we have to learn to sit inside with ourselves and our own moments, especially the not so good ones!

It was when I finally surrendered to the rain and storms within me that I found my rainbow.
I transcended my storms through reliving the moments of pain, discomfort, loss, sorrow and rejection and I rewrote them by speaking my truth, forgiving myself and ultimately learning to see the gold that lay within each difficult experience.

It was during these moments of surrender, which is often described as the “dark night of the Soul”, that I truly became conscious of my own spirituality and my Life Purpose.

It was in the midst of my own storm, my own messiness that I healed myself and I remembered who I truly am and what I came to Earth to experience. I am a healer and I came here to learn how to heal myself.

I am a Wayshower and I am here to guide others who are ready to awaken from their own storms and discover the gold that lies within. Now that I have healed myself, I am here to light the way and guide others who wish to heal themselves and assist them in creating a life they have always longed for.

I am whole and I am free and it feels good!!

On the subject of feeling good I am about to take some time out from what has been a very busy year for me since the last Lions Portal and immerse myself in some pottering over the next few weeks. Here I know I will be immersed in experiencing even more “precious moments”!

I will be reflecting once again on some of those storms and also the beautiful rainbows which were a result of these, such as the huge success in the last few years of the signature workshops, storytelling events and the Gold Within Wellbeing Programme which are all part of our I CHOOSE ME community.

Oh my, the souls on our Gold Within programme have really stepped in to their own storms through learning how to ground their energy and rewrite their stories. I am super, duper proud of them all.

They have as Brene Brown says, bravely stepped in to their vulnerability and chosen “courage over comfort” and as a result they are now creating a new life of freedom, peace, safety, love and abundance as they learnt how to let go of their stories of fear and lack. They were willing to change and as a result discovered a big shiny pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

My darling you, I truly believe that you too are standing on the cusp of great change and it is my greatest wish to help you transmute and transform in 2020.

Before I can be of service to you however, I will be recharging my energy during the remaining weeks of summer and CHOOSING ME.

So, until we connect next, I invite you to immerse yourself in some I CHOOSE ME moments too.
The key here is to let go and surrender! The simplest way to do this is to buy yourself some bubbles! Yes bubbles!

​Relax, connect with your breath and inhale and exhale as you blow those bubbles, reflecting as you do this upon your own life moments. Allow your Soul (and those bubbles) to guide you to where you truly want to journey to next.

You can blow bubbles anywhere, inside or out, no matter what the weather is!
Just like the weather change is on its way my friend and I’ll be back in the Autumn to assist you in navigating your way through this energy field.

Meantime enjoy your summer moments (and bubbles), I can’t wait to hear all about them!

Love and light always
Maureen xx

​I know it’s been ages since we last connected and cosied up together for a chat, and my initial instinct was to apologise for not being in touch before now. But then I gave myself permission not to do this.

If I apologised to you it would give the impression that I had done something wrong - when in fact I’ve been doing the complete opposite!! I’ve been choosing me and taking some well-deserved time out after what’s been one of the busiest years of my life, where I created new workshops, a brand-new wellbeing programme and website.

The truth is I wanted to check in with you again because I care deeply about you and wanted to remind you that - just like me - you too can give yourself permission to do absolutely anything you want!! Really you can. You don’t need approval or validation from anyone else.

The only person we need approval from is ourselves.
​
​For most of us we’ve had to ask for permission to do things our entire lives:

• Can I go to the toilet?
• Can I go out to play?
• Can I have permission to be excused from PE today?
• Can I have a biscuit?
• Can I have time off work?

As adults we have become wired to ask for permission and we still find ourselves asking friends, work colleagues and partners for permission to do things. Should I challenge my boss? Should I wear this? Should I eat this? Can I go out tonight?

​​It is no surprise then that we have difficulty in deciding whether or not to have another biscuit, read a book instead of doing housework or stay in and chill instead of going out. We are constantly seeking validation for the choices we make.

We find ourselves wondering if it’s okay to do all these things because, for most of our lives when making choices, we have had to ask for permission.  That voice of authority is still lurking inside us and we feel we still have to obey it because if we don’t, we will be immersed in guilt if we rebel against it.

What happened to you when you didn’t do what you were told?? For me I felt guilt and shame, that I had let people down and that I wasn't good enough.

However, we are adults now and I have popped in to your consciousness today to remind you of your gift of choice. If the prospect of stepping in to this empowering role is a bit too much for you after all those years of conditioning, let me make it a little bit easier for you.

Take some time out to write yourself a permission slip (or lots of them) on a post it pad, a bit like the ones you used to get your parents to complete for you when you were a child. Here’s some examples:

• I give myself permission to let go of everything and everyone that is holding me back.
• I give myself permission to have a lazy day in my PJ’s and not shower.
• I give myself permission to drop any criticism or judgement I have of myself.
• I give myself permission to have a nap.
• I give myself permission not to drink/to drink alcohol at the party tonight.
• I give myself permission to make mistakes.
• I give myself permission to have another biscuit.
• I give myself permission to go on more adventures.
• I give myself permission to be any body shape I like.
• I give myself permission to choose me today.

Now that wasn’t too difficult was it? How wonderful are you?

Till next time, I invite you to give yourself permission just to be yourself, to be a success or a failure, to feel happy or crappy.

Be the person you want to be.

Sending love and light

Maureen xx

How are you doing as we move in to Autumn? It’s been a while since we last connected, and you might have been wondering what I’ve been up to…WELL…I have been exceptionally busy CHOOSING ME!
 
To me CHOOSING ME is NOT a selfish act but an act of survival. Choosing not to practice self-care, choosing not to place the oxygen mask on yourself first, will mean that you will not have sufficient energy to be there to help others.
 
In the last few years, I have increasingly become aware of the importance of choosing me, because when I am rested, healthy and balanced, my energy levels are higher and I am of more benefit to my family, friends and clients.
 
The idea of CHOOSING ME isn’t new, but if I’m being totally honest, during these years of embracing self-care I was only practicing choosing me.
 
This time last year I awoke to the fact that once again I wasn’t fully ‘walking my talk’ when it came to choosing me. This was because of my conditioned limited beliefs; that it was selfish to choose me and that I wasn’t good enough or worthy enough to really choose me in every area of my life.
 
Thankfully the Universe was recognising the shift in my energy field and it sent me an angelic Earth Midwife called Emily (my coach!) who helped birth me in to my LIMITLESS FREEDOM.
 
As a result of this freedom:

• My energy has increased
• I am healthier than ever at the ripe old age of 51
• I am much calmer
• I have excellent boundaries
• I have let go of relationships that no longer serve me
• I work less and earn more
• I have more time to spend with my friends and family
• I am steeped in peace and contentment. 

I am FREE because I finally let go of all of those conditioned limited beliefs and said yes to CHOOSING ME.
 
My life’s journey has been very similar to that of the butterfly, one of my beloved spirit guides. I have wobbled and crawled like the caterpillar, fast asleep to the abundance living within me. I have hidden away in a dark cocoon during my battle with anxiety, depression and addiction. I am now finally TRANSFORMING and choosing to take the flight of the butterfly.
 
The flight of the butterfly requires great courage just as it does when we commit to the process of personal and spiritual growth. Moving from darkness in to the light also requires trust and faith as well as commitment and bravery but it brings limitless freedom.
 
The butterfly represents rebirth in to a majestic new life.
 
Part of this rebirth involves letting go just like the butterfly must do when it hatches from the chrysalis.
 
When we make a commitment to choosing ourselves and fly towards our freedom, just like the butterfly, we often need to let go of people, limited beliefs and ways of living that no longer serve us, giving gratitude to these energies for the wisdom they have gifted to us.
 
One of the energies that I am currently in the process of letting go of is my beautiful AFTERWARDS business name. It has served me well over the years. However, it is now longing to step in to its own transformation and in the forthcoming weeks it will emerge in to a beautiful new chapter and become ‘I CHOOSE ME’. This will mean our Facebook, website and email address will all undergo a transformation too.

​Are you too longing to CHOOSE YOURSELF and set yourself FREE? How would it feel to rewrite your story?
 
If you are ready to say YES to more freedom in your life then let’s stay in touch!
 
Details of our next I CHOOSE ME workshop will be announced soon and our new website is currently in the process of transforming!
 
Meantime you can CHOOSE to click HERE and be part of our I CHOOSE ME Facebook community. 

And to join our new 'I CHOOSE ME' mailing list, please click HERE.
 
When we CHOOSE ourselves first everyone really does live happily ever AFTERWARDS!
 
Can’t wait to fly in to your limitless life with you.
 
Much love
 
Maureen xx