Hello everyone

I write to you today from my hibernation cave - aka my beloved bedroom sanctuary - and I am wrapped in the arms of stillness, silence and solitude reflecting upon what I have harvested in the last 12 months.

As I reflected, the picture below caught my eye. It was a gift from my late Father when I was around 10 years old. I can remember, at the time, briefly glancing at it not realising that some forty years later it would become one of my most precious possessions.

Within the red frame is the poem “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann and it is said that he was inspired to write this after journaling about “desire”, (Desiderata means desire in Latin and translates to ‘desired things’).
The following words brought tears to my eyes…
​
“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

In that moment I realised that in the last 12 months my own desire was to “harvest happiness”; to truly CHOOSE ME, to meet my own needs, to discover what was best for me and do everything in my power to make that desire come true.

I met that desire by immersing myself in Mother Nature, trying wherever possible to live and work in alignment with her seasons, trusting that she would keep me grounded and balanced even amidst the darkness of COVID-19 which made me at times very much doubt that the “universe was unfolding as it should.”

Today Mother Nature once again brings me back to balance by inviting me to reflect upon The Autumn Equinox which entered the UK energy field on Tuesday the 22nd September. The word “equinox” is of Latin origin and means “equal night”, the time of the year when day and night are of equal length.

The Autumn Equinox reminds me to balance all aspects of my life. To honour both the day and the night, the light and the dark, the good and the bad, happiness and sadness, the ups and the downs, the rollercoaster that is this wonderful life.

One of the ways I bring balance to my life is to simply “check in” with myself as the day begins and “check out” again as it ends. I call these my “bookends”. 

Here I feel into my seasons and honour what messages they are giving me. So, for example, if my energy is very low during my morning check in, I might have to retreat, rest, and renew in my Winter season and hibernate as much as I can throughout the day. If my energy is steeped in Spring and Summer, those are the days I can create or act on my “to-do” list. I often find myself in Autumn at the end of my day, reflecting upon what I have managed to harvest that day.

As well as reminding us to bring balance to our lives the Autumn Equinox invites us to go within and let go of old ideas, limited beliefs, habits, and actions that no longer serve us. Just as the leaves in Autumn release their grip and fall to the ground creating compost for new life to grow we too can do the same, creating fertile soil in which to plant our dream seeds for the following year.
​
Autumn is the time to acknowledge and honour our own seasons of growth, harvest, death, and rebirth.

And so my friend, as the days become shorter and the nights grow longer and the lingering threat of COVID-19 surrounds us, it may feel as if you are descending into darkness and for many that can feel quite uncomfortable. I encourage you however to embrace the darkness and listen to its messages.
​
Use the forthcoming seasons of Autumn and Winter to snuggle in, be gentle with yourself and acknowledge and reflect upon your own seasons and life cycle. 

Are there any areas of your life in which you can create new growth in order to harvest more happiness in 2021? Remember too that the Light will shine upon us once more with the arrival of the Winter Solstice in December and as the final sentence of the Desiderata poem says…

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy”.

Sending you love, light and happiness this Autumn

Maureen x

P.S. Click HERE to listen to a beautiful guided meditation by Kez Kristiansen which can help heal anxiety and disconnect through Nature. 

You can also connect with me on a deeper level or read the blogs which describe my journey with Mother Nature in the last year at www.ichooseme.org.uk

Hello

How are you doing? How are you feeling?
 
When we last connected, we were celebrating the energy of the Summer Solstice, endings, and new beginnings. (Click HERE if you missed our last blog).
 
I also wrote that I intended to use the energy of Summer to invite new energy into my life by reflecting upon the following questions:
 
-          What does my life look like now that it is reduced to ashes?
-          What rich new life can take root now? 
-          What can I create? 
-          What transformation will come as this phoenix rises from the ashes?
 
As I began to reflect, I could feel FEAR rising within me. I froze.
 
The questions were asking too much of me. They felt like they were going to lead to change, too much change. I usually embrace change, but this was overwhelming … exhausting.
 
WHAT WAS I SCARED OF?  I HAD NO IDEA!
 
My mind was pleading, “please, no more change, enough is enough”, my heart was saying “hush, just take a breath, we’ll work it out, but for now just breathe”.
 
I took a breath, and another and another. I listened to my heart. I listened to it in silence and solitude trusting that it would lead the way.
 
My heart first of all guided me to rest – I rested.
 
It then guided me to meditate in silence and with intention on the following questions:
 
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING AWAY FROM?
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING BACK TO?
-          WHAT WAS I SCARED OF WALKING TOWARDS?
 
No answers came and I could feel the fear creeping in once more trying to invade my whole body.
 
My heart hushed me once more and guided me to surrender into its arms wholly and completely
– I surrendered.
 
My heart then asked me to listen again – I listened.
 
I heard a little voice deep within me saying…
 
 “My darling you, in the last year you have discovered freedom; freedom to live in seasons, to write stories, to embrace your introverted self, to live in silence and solitude, to potter, to BE more than DO, to meet your own needs, to CHOOSE YOU.
 
You are fearful now of inviting more change into your life in case it imprisons you again through over- doing, over-pleasing, over-working, and falling back into the dis-ease of co-dependency. Can you answer the questions of your heart now little one?
 
I could:

• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING AWAY FROM MY FREEDOM
• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING BACK TO BEING IMPRISONED BY MY ADDICTION TO CODEPENDENCY.
• I WAS SCARED OF WALKING TOWARDS MORE CHANGE THAT COULD TAKE AWAY MY NEW-FOUND FREEDOM.

 
In essence, I was in fear of losing all I had harvested so far in the last year.
 
I was terrified of once again not having my needs met and forgetting to choose me, forgetting to nourish and nurture the seeds I had planted earlier in the year, the SEEDS OF MY OWN NEEDS.
 
Once again, I could hear the words of Abraham Maslow who, funnily enough, created the Hierarchy of Human Needs…
 
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

In that moment of sweet release my fear left me, my heart cracked wide open and I cried tears of sweet relief. 

And so today on the 1st of August I find myself celebrating once more. I am not only celebrating the festival of Lammas, which marks the annual wheat harvest and is the first harvest festival of the year, I am celebrating and embracing all the CHANGE and transformation I have accomplished so far in the last year and all the hard work that has gone into creating this change. 
 
I am also acknowledging that harvesting a bountiful crop is hard work and takes up a lot of energy. And so as we reach this mid-point of summer, I am reminded to rest and refuel my energy tank as much as I can in the months ahead, which no doubt will involve even more change as I take the tentative steps out of lockdown and step out into a world which has changed dramatically in such a short period of time.
 
I can see now too that the FEAR I felt previously was a messenger.
 
It was reminding me that personal growth, just like growing a garden is hard work and involves a lot of perseverance. Personal growth also involves lots of change and to hide away from change is like giving up on our beautiful gardens in the middle of summer and letting them wither away just as they are about to burst into bloom and brightness.
 
My fear taught me to finish what I started, to accomplish all that I have worked for so far. To allow myself to be transformed into a beautiful wild garden, to grow and flourish in the seasons and harvest a year where I met my own needs first and CHOSE ME.
 
And so my friend as we enter into the last few weeks of Summer, I invite you to feel into what you would like to harvest in the next few months as we ease out of lockdown and into a new way of being.

• Do you have any fears that are preventing you from reaping that harvest?
• If so, using the remaining energy of Summer, what action could you take to stop that from happening?

 
I invite you also to be gentle with yourself, and take time to acknowledge how hard it’s been for you over the last few months when the pandemic forced change into your lives some of which may not have been wanted.
 
Give yourself credit for the way in which you handled this change, take a breath, listen, and maybe you can see too just how much your own garden has grown and evolved.
 
I am off now to tend to my own wild garden, ensuring I’ve done all I can to reap a bountiful harvest in Autumn and I’ll be in touch then to celebrate with you some more.
 
Sending all my love on this sacred day,
 
Maureen xx

Hi there

A few weeks ago, I posted a little love note to you about how I crave SOLITUDE and how it is my intention moving forward to follow Mother Nature’s lead and begin to live my life slowly and simply.
This weekend with the arrival of the Summer Solstice, a New Moon and a Solar Eclipse, it feels like the perfect time to celebrate this new energy!

The arrival of Summer and the longest day of the year energizes, refreshes and renews my spirit and I feel alive. When the sun does shine, it blazes strong and bright and everything feels on fire, ignited and celebratory!

Even the introvert within me wants to celebrate!

• I want to light my fire!!
• Not on the dance floor I might add!
• I want to celebrate my own inner fire. 
• I want to acknowledge and celebrate everything I have accomplished in the last year.

I want to celebrate the strong woman who was willing to take risks, who stepped into her vulnerability and let go of what was no longer serving her. The woman who embraced her introverted self, who created strong boundaries, who nourished and nurtured herself.

I want to celebrate choosing me!

How am I going to celebrate? 

I’m going to light a fire at precisely 10:43pm on Saturday in my back garden!

If it rains - and with me living in Scotland there’s a good chance that it will - I’ll light a candle and reflect in silence, giving gratitude to all those things my inner fire helped me accomplish this year. 
Note, there may also be some marshmallows and red wine on the go too.

Actually, there’s no might’s about it – this is a celebration after all!

I will also let go of all the things I didn’t get done.  These thoughts will be reduced to ashes. I worked hard, I survived a pandemic, I did my best and that was enough.

I will also acknowledge that with every new beginning there has to be an end – just like the seasons.
The days following on from the Summer Solstice will start growing shorter again as the northern hemisphere begins to tilt away once more from the sun. 

This, alongside the possibility of rain dampening my celebration on Saturday, could make me feel sad. However, I will remember that the sun will be reborn again at the Winter Solstice and the cycle of growth and renewal will begin all over again.

And so, it is only right that I celebrate these endings too! 

As I acknowledge and celebrate the year that has gone by, I can also give thanks for the growth it brought me and I can let it go now into the burning flames – its purpose complete.

If I wish, I can reflect deeper to see if there are any other aspects of my life that are no longer serving me that need to succumb to the flames also.

As the evening ends and all that is left are the embers of my fire, I will use the energy of Summer to invite new energy into my life. 

• What does my life look like now that it is reduced to ashes?
• What rich new life can take root now? 
• What can I create? 
• What transformation will come as this phoenix rises from the ashes?

My friend I invite you to join me in this celebration. 
Don’t worry, I don’t mean literally in my back garden – after all some of us are still in lockdown!!
I invite you to celebrate with me from the fire in your own heart – to connect together this Summer Solstice as a global community in whatever way you choose.

You too may wish to reflect on the last year and on the year to come …… just think it will be like New Year all over again but slightly warmer!

This Summer Solstice let us join together and use the flames of summer to burn away our divisions, disconnects and differences and celebrate endings, new beginnings, oneness, community, and love.
I hope you can join me. If not, I hope you will feel my love and radiant light on Saturday night!

Maureen xx

Hello again

I hope this little love note from my heart to yours finds you safe and well.

Back in February this year I wrote about “embracing our seasons” (to view, please click HERE) – well, what a season the end of Winter and Spring turned out to be!!

Instead of growth and new beginnings, it felt like we were being forced back into that hibernation cave as we were engulfed in the darkness of a worldwide pandemic.

Many of us felt uncertainty, panic, fear and anxiety and initially I too felt these emotions. However, as the world began to quieten and I watched the trees turn to green, the skies and the rivers becoming clearer and the birdsong becoming louder, I became calmer as I witnessed Mother Nature holding us safe and grounded in her arms and embracing us in the energy of hope.

Instead of rushing about trying “to do” to fill the time, I chose “to be” and began to mirror the energy of this nature, to be gentle with myself, to weather the storms, and overall beginning to live slowly and simply, trusting I would be guided.
​
The arrival of Spring and the sensational rays from the sunny skies above energised me even more and - despite all the uncertainty surrounding me - I used the extended lockdown to enter a deeper period of reflection and I came to realise just how much of an introvert I am.
I came to realise I crave SOLITUDE.

For years I had tried to fit in to a world which is designed mostly for extroverts – our schools, workplaces and social institutions have been created to stimulate. Extroverts crave stimulation.

Too much stimulation can exhaust introverts and if not kept in check can lead to burn out, anxiety and depression.

If it wasn’t for the pandemic I doubt I would have realised just how much I need solitude. It’s like oxygen for me and as Susan Cain the author of “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” says…

“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe”.

In this book she explains why we need to also appreciate the talents and abilities of introverts. After all, where would we be without the likes of Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, J K Rowling, and Mark Zuckerberg who founded Facebook!

This reflection then guided me to a deeper realisation. The introvert in me played a big part in why I changed my business name to I CHOOSE ME.

For most of my life I was living in what I now call my Great Forgetting – forgetting that I was an introvert.

This caused much dis-ease in my life and led to me becoming an addict. My addiction of choice is co-dependency which in essence means I believed that my own needs should be sacrificed for those of others, regardless of the consequences to my own physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

My recovery path means that I have had to learn how to CHOOSE me – to connect to myself, to meet my own basic human needs, to create safe and strong boundaries for myself, to nourish and nurture myself – in essence to take time out to remember who I truly am – an introverted soul who, like Mother Nature, needs solitude, silence and simplicity to survive.

Little did I know back in February that the Universe in the shape of Mother Nature was guiding me to this realisation. I didn’t have to create that beautiful wild garden, it was being created for me. The only thing I had to do was slow down and let nature take its course with my life.

I have no idea where she is going to take me next but it’s my intention to surrender into her arms even more, to follow her lead and live slowly and simply to the beat of her drum and the rhythm of her seasons.

As Claude Monet says: “it is my wish to stay always like this, living quietly in a corner of nature”.
Until next time my friend it is my greatest wish that you too follow your heart’s desire.

Much love

Maureen xx

As my good friend George always says...”here’s a thing”...

Have you ever noticed that life gives us lots and lots of chances to learn about choices?

One minute we feel stuck and the next minute we’re on a rollercoaster ride which we’ll either experience as being exhilarating or way out of control.

When life feels stuck we might long to make changes and perhaps try out that rollercoaster ride but equally sometimes when life feels out of control we long for the security that comes from staying on solid ground.

If we can become more aware of our gift of choice we can begin to accept that there will always be things that happen to us that we would never choose in a million years, however, there are things in our life that we can choose to make happen or not.

I’ve experienced both in the last 53 years and I’ve come to realise that it’s very important to be aware of the difference between the two. The more I accepted and practiced the second option the happier I became.

In the picture below I’m on a rollercoaster ride with my husband and son when he was a wee boy. I look happy but OMG I was not!! I was absolutely hating every minute - wrong choice!! Since then I’ve chosen to keep my feet firmly on the ground! 

So if, like me, you hate rollercoasters guess what  you can choose instead??

Sending love and light till next time,

Maureen xx

​Hello my dear friends
 
How has your winter been?
 
If you’ve been following my blogs you’ll know that I had asked Santa for the gifts of pottering and hibernation for Christmas and I was pretty chuffed to have found both of these in my Christmas stocking! 
 
If I’m being totally honest with you though, I think they were kind of forced upon me as a necessity rather than a gift. Let me tell you why (pour yourself a cuppa first – this is going to be a long one!).
 
If truth be told, I had a pretty rough Autumn and entry into the Winter season.
 
I was working with a lot of beautiful young energies during this time who were undergoing significant amounts of stress trying to fit in to a world which, as you know, can be pretty harsh at times.
 
I now realise that I hadn’t been protecting my boundaries enough whilst working in the environments that these beautiful souls were enclosed in and I was losing my balance.
 
On top of this, I chose to leave part-time employment where I had been a team leader for nearly 36 years.
 
My choice - but oh my it was a difficult one as this employer had been one of my security nets in that it provided financial abundance to help me set up my own business and to care for my husband when he was severely ill.
 
This was also the place where I met my husband and many lifelong friends and I underestimated the effect this would have on my energy levels.
 
By the time I reached mid-December, I was exhausted and was literally forced into my hibernation cave.
 
This enforced healing involved much rest emotionally, physically and spiritually and I began a process of recovery and renewal.
 
My body began naturally to repair the damage that had been caused previously.
 
Initially I felt a reluctance to enter the hibernation cave as it reminded me - once again - of having to take the journey of the butterfly, which isn’t an easy one.
 
This caterpillar was having to break down again in that dark cocoon. I entered a period of mourning as I began to discard a life that once was.

However, this time round I didn’t fight the darkness. I let go and surrendered to its wisdom and I began to dream.
 
I dreamt I was:

• “in-between” lands  
• “in-between” gates
• “in-between” lives 
• “in-between” relationships
• ”in-between” people.

 When I awoke from my dreams I journaled and increasingly became aware that I too was at the “in-between” stage of my own life.
 
I was 53.
 
My body was changing, my thoughts were changing, my libido was changing, my energy was changing.
 
My relationships were also changing - I no longer had to lead a team now, I no longer had to nurture my 21-year-old son who was flourishing in his life nor did I need to care for my husband, whose health had improved dramatically.
 
My life was changing in every way and oh - I had also entered the menopause.
 
And then it hit me – I was a menopausal woman!!
 
My menstruation had paused and so had my life.
 
I was at a “crossroads”, a “change of life”, an “in-between zone”.
 
I was neither who I was before nor who I was becoming.
 
Who was I?
 
More journaling ensued.
 
I realized that I’d had experienced a relatively easy journey through the menopause as far as my mind and body were concerned. But now sensed that there was a deep and profound transformation taking place within me as if I was holding space for something new to emerge...just like that butterfly.
 
I was indeed at a crossroads! 
 
I could, therefore, choose to embrace this new sense of self that was struggling to emerge
 
OR
 
Cling to the old me who was comfortable in her cocoon, in her hibernation cave.
 
I could retire now and live happily ever after in my comfort zone. My job was done. I had successfully brought up my son, cared for my family, had a career and ran my own business.
 
I knew that if I chose the path of change and began to travel in the direction of unknown worlds that I would no longer be the same person that I was before. 
 
Did I really want to transform into another person at the age of 53??
 
As I pondered on my choices this quote was sent my way, I just love a quote! 
 
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”
 
Abraham H. Maslow
 
My heart leapt when I read this and, at that moment, I crossed the threshold into a brand-new land! 
 
After much soul searching throughout winter in my hibernation cave I now find myself in a new relationship with myself; with others; my commitments; my work; my energy; my values; my priorities; my boundaries; my self-care; my choices and a deepening need to CHOOSE ME.
 
I am no longer limited by the expectations of others or society and therefore feel much more in control of my own destiny.
 
I am a woman in mid-life and a being of choice!
 
This awareness of choice gifts within me the freedom and serenity that Sue Patton Thoele describes in her book “Freedoms After Fifty” ...
 
 “When I was a young woman, I thought ageing meant loss and limitation, but I’ve learned that it’s really about freedom - especially freedom from fear. But also, free to be uniquely myself, free to say what I mean and mean what I say, free to genuinely enjoy and celebrate life”. 
 
In the weeks, months and years to come, it is my intention to step through the gateway to my brand-new life and create a beautiful wild garden.
 
I know this will involve much personal growth and transformation.
 
I fervently hope that my journey will not only transform me but also my community.
 
Who knows if we all choose to nourish and nurture ourselves with lots of love and self-care we may even be able to transform the world ...... “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” and all that! 

And so my friend, in the remaining weeks of winter I will be continuing to nurture my new landscape. After all, personal growth - just like a wild garden - requires a lot of quiet time and solitude to ensure it has plenty of nutrients in order for those “dream seeds” to be planted successfully in spring.
 
I’ll also be pruning and decluttering my thoughts, emotions, home etc. so that I can have clear spaces in which to begin visioning what my brand-new wild garden landscape will look like as the year unfolds.
 
I’ll keep you posted on how my wild garden is thriving, and feel free to accompany me on my journey this year as it evolves throughout the seasons.
 
You might even want to begin to create your own garden or give me some gardening hints and tips!
 
Speak soon and much love till then
 
Maureen xx

Hey

How’s your Autumn going?
 
Did you choose you since we last connected and take some time out to reflect upon how balanced you feel as we enter in to this magical Autumn season?
 
If not, I’ve posted below my own musings on how balanced I feel so far in 2019 which might support you with your own reflections:

• I have flourished in that I now truly feel I am worthy, enough, safe and secure.
• I have accomplished financial security mainly because I feel all of the above!
• The seeds I planted last year that bore the most fruit were the introduction of strong personal boundaries, my Daily Sadhana Practice (aka My Bookends).
• Because of the seeds I planted above, I harvested the fruits of a blooming heart-centred business which brought joy and abundance to not just my own life but to the lives of many other people.
• I am proud of how I have continued to CHOOSE ME.
• I feel grateful for the continued good health of my husband after his dances in recent years with a brain tumour.
• I feel really well balanced in my CHOICES.
• I feel out of balance in my physical body.
• I am aware that the imbalance I feel in my physical body has occurred because it is starting to give me signs that it is not happy. It has asked for its needs to be met by telling me it’s not at ease. An example of this is the plantar fasciitis (dis-ease) I have been suffering from this year. My body needs more grounding and some TLC!!
• The seeds that I planted last year that didn’t quite grow as I expected all relate to my own body.
• Given the reflections above I need to do more weeding and pruning in relation to my physical health to bring my mind, body and Soul back into alignment in 2020.

 
The above reflections have made me feel good!
 
I am pretty well balanced overall as I near the end of 2019 but my friend - believe me - it wasn’t always this way.
 
Just like the leaves falling from their branches in Autumn, we come to witness the balance between life and death in Mother Nature.
 
Everything is literally dying all around us and it can feel dark and yucky - but this passing is necessary for new life to grow in the spring. This is true for our own selves as well.
 
In order for us to live the most beautiful life we came here to experience, we need to let go of our dead leaves, our old beliefs, patterns and habits that no longer serve us.
 
And so, my dearest, darling you I invite you for the remainder of October to feel in to the energy of letting go:

• What are you ready to let go of?
• What leaves do you need to shed in order for new life to grow?
• What weeding/de-cluttering still needs to happen in your life? 

In November we will take the wisdom we gained from our beautiful Autumn reflections along with the internal ground we cleared through the process of letting go and begin to take the necessary steps to NOURISH and NURTURE our Soul Soil.
 
By doing this and allowing ourselves to go in to hibernation throughout the cold and darkness of Winter, we will ensure that we have fertile ground available to plant brand new seeds which will create beautiful new beginnings for us in 2020.
 
As the saying goes … “Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go” … Unknown.
 
My whole life changed for the better when I finally surrendered and chose to let go of energies that no longer served me and I know you can experience this too.
 
 Speak soon, big hugs till then
 
Maureen xx

Hello my dear friend

How have your “moments” been since we last connected?

• Did you immerse yourself in some I CHOOSE ME moments?
• Did you blow some bubbles?
• Did you allow your Soul to guide you to where you truly want to journey to next?

I did - and as I posted in our I CHOOSE ME Facebook page recently my Soul asked me to reflect upon this question…

“In every moment you have a choice, the question is what path will you choose?”

Over the summer I chose to reframe how I define “work” and the result was that my Soul guided me to rewrite one of my limited beliefs into a limitless one - I don’t “work” - I am instead being of “service” to this magnificent world and its inhabitants.

Interestingly, since I let go of all the busyness and abundance that the spring and summer months bestowed upon me and immersed myself in the “moment”, my Soul is now guiding me to explore even more pathways and I feel myself stepping into a new season in my life.

Talking of new seasons, this week the Autumn Equinox has arrived which officially marks the beginning of Fall in the Northern Hemisphere.

The word “equinox” comes from the Latin words “aequi” which means “equal”, and “nox” which means “night” and as such this Autumn Equinox means that the day and night are of equal length and balance.

This new season is a beautiful opportunity to examine balance in our own lives.

And so my beautiful you, as we step into a new season I invite you to reflect upon how balanced you feel.

Dig out your journal (or treat yourself to a new one), cosy up in your favourite spot with a cuppa in hand, play some soothing music and feel in to the following questions:

• How have you flourished in the last year?
• What have you accomplished?
• What seeds did you plant that bore the most fruit? 
• What have you harvested this year that has brought joy and abundance into your life?
• What are you proud of?
• What do you feel grateful for?
• In what areas of your life do you feel really well balanced?
• In what areas of your life do you feel out of balance?
• Are you aware why any imbalances have occurred?
• What seeds did you plant that didn’t quite grow as expected?
• Where do you need to do some weeding or pruning to get back into alignment?

The energy of this Autumn Equinox allows us to reflect upon the wild garden that has emerged as a result of our creations during the previous winter, spring and summer months and what is required to bring it into balance before we activate new growth in 2020.
 
As we move deeper into Autumn my wonderful friend, we will be jumping into a big pile of fallen leaves and the energy of “letting go” …can’t wait to see what we discover there!!
 
Until then be gentle with yourself and as Robert Louis Stevenson once said…
 
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant”.
 
Sending you love and golden autumnal light
 
Maureen xx

Hello my dear friend. How has your summer been so far?

The weather has been a bit all over the place hasn’t it? One moment we have had beautiful sun kissed skies and the next torrential rains and thunderstorms!

Mother Nature’s whirlwind energy in the last few weeks has led me to reflect upon my own life journey. At times I have been engulfed in earthquakes and tornadoes which often left destruction and chaos in its wake for both myself and others. I created a lot of this damage myself and I now lovingly refer to this energy as my “messy middle”.

At other times I have sailed along upon smooth tranquil waters with ease and flow.
My reflections have helped me realise that it was the storms that often led me to those tranquil waters, they were meant to be and they actually fuelled the fire of deep transformation and change within my Soul.

The self-awareness that arose from my reflections all came from reliving and retelling stories from my life – I captured all of them in “moments”. An example of this was the moments that filled my life last week.

On Wednesday I sat hand in hand with my courageous and lion-hearted husband in a hospital waiting room anxiously waiting for the results of his yearly brain scan. In the last 7 years he has undergone two major brain surgeries and survived both of these unyielding storms.

As we waited, we spoke of “moments”. We reflected upon some of the moments of our 29-year marriage. Moments that hit us both hard; when we nearly separated because of my own messy middle; his journey living with a brain tumour and losing his short term memory for a few months; our travels which have taken us all around the world; sitting in floods of tears on the bathroom floor in our first home when we found out we were finally pregnant after 9 years of waiting for our little miracle – our beloved son.

A few minutes later we were given the news by the wonderful surgeon who has been part of our life journey that all was well. Our hearts began to beat once more. We took a deep inhale and then exhaled into the rest of our moments.

The following day I became aware that it was the 8th of August (08/08), the Lions Gate Portal, a big event in the Cosmos when the Sun enters the constellation of Leo and we are gifted with a new gateway of energy if we choose to step in to it.

Just like the actual Lion’s Gate in Jerusalem this energy field is guarded by two Royal Sirian Lions who represent the “Lions of Yesterday and Tomorrow” in Sacred texts. This Lion energy took me once again to the “present moment” and an awareness of where my current life journey was going to next and as always, I turned to my tools of meditation and journaling in order to find the answers and the result is todays blog.

I am aware that it is only when I am grounded in the “present moment” that I am able to weather the storms around me. When I get caught up in thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow, I become lost in my messiness. I know this now. I have stepped through my own Lions Gate Portal in the last 7 years and I now live a truly authentic and conscious life.

There have been many people who have helped me on my healing journey – my husband, my son, my family and friends, my clients and a beautiful business mentor and spiritual midwife called Emily – but ultimately, I healed myself. I did this by CHOOSING ME.

To do this I had to stop running from the whirlwind of me and instead surrender and fall in to the safe sanctuary of my own arms. I had to surrender to my messiness and I had to listen to its wisdom.
Just like we often sit inside during thunderstorms we have to learn to sit inside with ourselves and our own moments, especially the not so good ones!

It was when I finally surrendered to the rain and storms within me that I found my rainbow.
I transcended my storms through reliving the moments of pain, discomfort, loss, sorrow and rejection and I rewrote them by speaking my truth, forgiving myself and ultimately learning to see the gold that lay within each difficult experience.

It was during these moments of surrender, which is often described as the “dark night of the Soul”, that I truly became conscious of my own spirituality and my Life Purpose.

It was in the midst of my own storm, my own messiness that I healed myself and I remembered who I truly am and what I came to Earth to experience. I am a healer and I came here to learn how to heal myself.

I am a Wayshower and I am here to guide others who are ready to awaken from their own storms and discover the gold that lies within. Now that I have healed myself, I am here to light the way and guide others who wish to heal themselves and assist them in creating a life they have always longed for.

I am whole and I am free and it feels good!!

On the subject of feeling good I am about to take some time out from what has been a very busy year for me since the last Lions Portal and immerse myself in some pottering over the next few weeks. Here I know I will be immersed in experiencing even more “precious moments”!

I will be reflecting once again on some of those storms and also the beautiful rainbows which were a result of these, such as the huge success in the last few years of the signature workshops, storytelling events and the Gold Within Wellbeing Programme which are all part of our I CHOOSE ME community.

Oh my, the souls on our Gold Within programme have really stepped in to their own storms through learning how to ground their energy and rewrite their stories. I am super, duper proud of them all.

They have as Brene Brown says, bravely stepped in to their vulnerability and chosen “courage over comfort” and as a result they are now creating a new life of freedom, peace, safety, love and abundance as they learnt how to let go of their stories of fear and lack. They were willing to change and as a result discovered a big shiny pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

My darling you, I truly believe that you too are standing on the cusp of great change and it is my greatest wish to help you transmute and transform in 2020.

Before I can be of service to you however, I will be recharging my energy during the remaining weeks of summer and CHOOSING ME.

So, until we connect next, I invite you to immerse yourself in some I CHOOSE ME moments too.
The key here is to let go and surrender! The simplest way to do this is to buy yourself some bubbles! Yes bubbles!

​Relax, connect with your breath and inhale and exhale as you blow those bubbles, reflecting as you do this upon your own life moments. Allow your Soul (and those bubbles) to guide you to where you truly want to journey to next.

You can blow bubbles anywhere, inside or out, no matter what the weather is!
Just like the weather change is on its way my friend and I’ll be back in the Autumn to assist you in navigating your way through this energy field.

Meantime enjoy your summer moments (and bubbles), I can’t wait to hear all about them!

Love and light always
Maureen xx

​I know it’s been ages since we last connected and cosied up together for a chat, and my initial instinct was to apologise for not being in touch before now. But then I gave myself permission not to do this.

If I apologised to you it would give the impression that I had done something wrong - when in fact I’ve been doing the complete opposite!! I’ve been choosing me and taking some well-deserved time out after what’s been one of the busiest years of my life, where I created new workshops, a brand-new wellbeing programme and website.

The truth is I wanted to check in with you again because I care deeply about you and wanted to remind you that - just like me - you too can give yourself permission to do absolutely anything you want!! Really you can. You don’t need approval or validation from anyone else.

The only person we need approval from is ourselves.
​
​For most of us we’ve had to ask for permission to do things our entire lives:

• Can I go to the toilet?
• Can I go out to play?
• Can I have permission to be excused from PE today?
• Can I have a biscuit?
• Can I have time off work?

As adults we have become wired to ask for permission and we still find ourselves asking friends, work colleagues and partners for permission to do things. Should I challenge my boss? Should I wear this? Should I eat this? Can I go out tonight?

​​It is no surprise then that we have difficulty in deciding whether or not to have another biscuit, read a book instead of doing housework or stay in and chill instead of going out. We are constantly seeking validation for the choices we make.

We find ourselves wondering if it’s okay to do all these things because, for most of our lives when making choices, we have had to ask for permission.  That voice of authority is still lurking inside us and we feel we still have to obey it because if we don’t, we will be immersed in guilt if we rebel against it.

What happened to you when you didn’t do what you were told?? For me I felt guilt and shame, that I had let people down and that I wasn't good enough.

However, we are adults now and I have popped in to your consciousness today to remind you of your gift of choice. If the prospect of stepping in to this empowering role is a bit too much for you after all those years of conditioning, let me make it a little bit easier for you.

Take some time out to write yourself a permission slip (or lots of them) on a post it pad, a bit like the ones you used to get your parents to complete for you when you were a child. Here’s some examples:

• I give myself permission to let go of everything and everyone that is holding me back.
• I give myself permission to have a lazy day in my PJ’s and not shower.
• I give myself permission to drop any criticism or judgement I have of myself.
• I give myself permission to have a nap.
• I give myself permission not to drink/to drink alcohol at the party tonight.
• I give myself permission to make mistakes.
• I give myself permission to have another biscuit.
• I give myself permission to go on more adventures.
• I give myself permission to be any body shape I like.
• I give myself permission to choose me today.

Now that wasn’t too difficult was it? How wonderful are you?

Till next time, I invite you to give yourself permission just to be yourself, to be a success or a failure, to feel happy or crappy.

Be the person you want to be.

Sending love and light

Maureen xx